So, this life thing goes on and on. I keep thinking about what I am doing, how I am living my life, and how I want to be living my life. The worst part for me is that I feel like I am in a constant state of waiting. Waiting to figure out who I want to be. Waiting to figure out what kind of career I really want to have. Waiting to be able to afford a home that I would really love to live in. Waiting to be who I am supposed to be. As of right now, at age 29, I am still not quite sure who I am.
One of the most painful, yet numbing feelings, is not knowing who you are and what you are passionate about. After years of not figuring out what I liked because I was so worried about being judged for my opinions, I never felt brave enought to form my own feelings about things. Now, as I try and figure out what it is I do love, I feel like I am lost in the woods without a compass or a guide. I feel no sense of direction. What steps do I take to find my passion? Or is the real truth that there is no passion inside of me to tap into? I have always thought that everyone has something that they love, that they dream of doing.
How do you find your passion? How will I find mine?
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2 comments:
Hi,
I've left you message on shoutbox but felt I had to comment on this post.
I think sometimes we think we have to "do something" "choose something" and have a vocation in life. But maybe that's socity's pressure. Maybe it's ok to just be happy from day to day and not feel bad for not being a vet/doctor/rock star/athlete!
Or maybe I should get to medical school?|?!!!!
Life is about the journey, not the destination. But we're taught to always be working towards some point, tangible or not, so we easily confuse the purpose of living. I think we as humans are all searching and interprete that as feeling lost. That is until we realize that what matters is NOW.
We all have anxiety about living out our passions. But if we can find a sense of contentment day-to-day then we can at least find ourselves which I believe in turn allows us to find our true path. And the truer to our path we are, the more people and opportunities that are also true to our path... will find us. [Case and point, I enjoy talking to you!]
We spend our first two decades conforming or simply remaining silent in order to fit in but then we reach adulthood and want to find a way to distinguish ourselves. You can at least feel comfort in each new thing you discover about yourself and little by little peice those things together until you are actually standing in your "someday."
Then again...you are apt to find me labeling myself as "lost" and wondering when I'll be living the life I'm meant to live. Ha.
And here is one final (lofty) thought: do you think maybe we 20-somethings (or people in general) call ourselves "lost" because it's easier than admitting that we're simply not acting on things we "know" but have not yet found the courage to own? Because I think finding what's inside you is the first step but following it all through to fruition is an entirely different battle.
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